i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize