I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Floor bacon is actually really good
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