So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
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