Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
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