singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
