She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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