Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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