i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
