you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
