i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
