my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
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