They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
