dude i'm inner monologue high
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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