This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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