Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
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