i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
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