Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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