Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
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