i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
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