found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
