yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
