just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
