yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
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