Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
