brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
