By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
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