sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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