dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize