ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Randomize
