So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
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