the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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