i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
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