You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
