he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
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