u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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