is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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