So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
