Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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