I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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