i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I supernannyed him into submission
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
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