I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Randomize
