so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
