Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize
