It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
So what if is hockey, you donβt turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
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