Got a toothbrush?
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
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