I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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