you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
