just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Randomize
