Texts From Last Night

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  (626): View more from California

  I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards

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  (626): I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards http://tfl.nu/kggv
  Replies (7) Good night (2933) Bad night (916)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!

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  (402): I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em! http://tfl.nu/ru3y
  Replies (13) Good night (649) Bad night (5728)
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  (956): View more from Texas

  Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity

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  (956): Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity http://tfl.nu/xcgi
  Replies (36) Good night (954) Bad night (6010)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas

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  (440): By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas http://tfl.nu/5ruz
  Replies (46) Good night (4834) Bad night (1340)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.

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  (978): I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism. http://tfl.nu/fmul
  Replies (15) Good night (5834) Bad night (1396)
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her

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  (540): It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her http://tfl.nu/aiow
  Replies (36) Good night (1609) Bad night (4250)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.

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  (541): No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night. http://tfl.nu/zfom
  Replies (6) Good night (2036) Bad night (1027)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.

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  (402): Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business. http://tfl.nu/965c
  Replies (14) Good night (880) Bad night (2916)
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.

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  (813): So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer. http://tfl.nu/hmny
  Replies (5) Good night (1019) Bad night (3177)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks

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  (214): He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks http://tfl.nu/xm8f
  Replies (6) Good night (1142) Bad night (635)
• Favorite

  (618): View more from Illinois

  He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."

  (224): View more from Illinois

  Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.

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  (618): He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you." (224): Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out. http://tfl.nu/vy5b
  Replies (8) Good night (1653) Bad night (766)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome

  (1-917): View more from New York City

  second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?

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  (917): it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome (1-917): second-hand sex is fun, isn't it? http://tfl.nu/9p74
  Replies (16) Good night (1634) Bad night (584)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.

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  (415): I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS. http://tfl.nu/cwy1
  Replies (7) Good night (1021) Bad night (448)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?

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  (920): My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls? http://tfl.nu/f946
  Replies (9) Good night (1409) Bad night (761)
• Favorite

  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.

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  (321): It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises. http://tfl.nu/1767
  Replies (4) Good night (726) Bad night (376)

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