And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Randomize
