sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH