If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
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we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
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Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.