The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
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Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
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I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.