Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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