There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
