it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Randomize
