Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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