Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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