why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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