yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
