no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
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