The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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