i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
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I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
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Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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