I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Randomize