Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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