wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
