12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
