I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
