Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
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