I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
You just made me feel so damn special
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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